In most cases, co-parenting after a divorce or separation is not easy. The key characteristic of co-parenting relationships is their focus on what’s best for the children. Co-parenting relationships come in various forms. It will depend on many factors, including how well you and the other parent get along, what kind of co-parenting relationship you create.
Co-parenting: How does it work?
Coparenting means both parents are involved with their children on a daily basis. In this way, you can best ensure that your kids’ needs are met and that they retain close relationships with both parents.
Below are five tips to assist you in co-parenting. Understanding how to co-parent can make a huge difference in providing your children with a balanced and happy upbringing.
1) Always Be There For Your Children
It is important to give time to building and maintaining quality relationships. Quality relationships can’t be developed and sustained without sufficient routine time. In addition to parental time, children also need to be emotionally present and take an active role in their day-to-day activities.
It is important at the end of the day for your child to be surrounded by people who are only striving to see them succeed. Set yourself up for success. Make your child feel like a part of your family. You can schedule a regular evening of family games, walks, and light activities.
2) Improve Communication With Your Co-parent
Despite what may seem impossible, there are many benefits to having a peaceful, consistent, and purposeful relationship with your ex. All you need is a positive attitude toward the situation. Whenever you communicate, you should put your child’s best interests first. Consider how your actions will affect your child before you speak with your ex, and resolve to conduct yourself with dignity.
There’s no need to meet face-to-face all of the time – talking on the phone, sending text messages, or exchanging emails is enough for most conversations. Find a method of communication that works for you, as the goal is to establish conflict-free communication.
Methods of co-parenting communication that work best:
- Establish a regular meeting/talking schedule.
- Maintain a professional tone.
- Relieve stress at the moment.
- Keep your cool.
3) Be Flexible and Accessible
Consistency is the key you will hear again and again. The best thing you can do for your child is to make him feel safe during difficult times. It is equally important to remain flexible. Stay on schedule, but always be open to changing things, especially when you can accommodate them. Rather than being difficult with your ex, don’t deny them time just because you might need their help one day.
Even if your instincts tell you to ignore their attempts to talk, you should still strive to be available to your ex. Don’t inconvenience yourself to take their call every time if you’re not available, but pick up the phone when you can.
Your child will appreciate your kindly, efficient, and respectful communication.
4) Establishing Boundaries Is Essential In Co-parenting
After separation, a lot of people change. As part of the process of moving on from a relationship, you have to unlearn your previous partner.
The process of establishing boundaries between a high conflict co-parent might sound easier than it is. However, it is certainly worth the effort. Set boundaries and stick to your parenting plan. When necessary, set communication boundaries and determine how to deal with them. Do not allow yourself to fall into the trap of becoming curious about what your co-parent is up to, and do not allow yourself to fall into the situations that lead you to feel curious about your co-parent.
Last but not least, you should never create boundaries for yourself when it comes to seeking help when you need it. Support is crucial if you want to truly overcome your obstacles.
5) Consult a Co-parenting Therapist
A professional can help you if you have been struggling to deal with a particularly difficult ex. So don’t hesitate to talk with a professional such as a counselor or therapist.
You can turn to them in situations like this to work through your emotions and maintain your emotional well-being. As you embark on this new phase of your life, you will likely face emotional barriers that prevent you from achieving your full potential. Counseling or therapy can help you overcome those barriers.
However, doing the work and investing the time into therapy can lead to a healthier co-parenting relationship in the long run.
At Hussain Law, we focus on helping our clients navigate the emotional and financial challenges of separation and divorce. Our office remains fully operational, and we have implemented various new procedures that allow us to continue to advise clients seamlessly during this time. If you have a family law issue that you need assistance with, please contact Ayesha Hussain (Family Lawyer Toronto) at 647-428-3919.
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