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How Can I Make Co-Parenting Work For Me?

How Can I Make Co-Parenting Work For Me?

Going through divorce will put many parents into confusing situations when regarding their kids. If you found your way to this article, you may be experiencing trouble wrapping your head around how to make the best decisions for your children during this time. Oftentimes it can take a while to regain trust with an ex spouse and decide to communicate and work with them. Although difficult at first, many families find that co-parenting is a great option. It allows both parents to set their own household boundaries while still providing for their children and maintaining positive relationships. In this article we go over ways that you can make co-parenting work for your family and mention what to look out for if you think that it might not be right for you.

 

The Do’s

When it comes to your children, having both parents who play active roles in their lives is the best way to ensure their wellbeing. Telling children about divorce is a difficult step that will leave them with many questions. It is important to explain co-parenting in a positive manner to help children understand why it will be a good option. As with anything, the attitude that you have surrounding the situation will change the reactions you get. The same idea applies when communicating with your ex spouse. Co-parenting is all about making a team effort to provide what is best for your children. Through practicing better divorce parenting skills you will greatly strengthen all your family relationships. Here are some of the do’s for making co-parenting work for you:

  • Establish your boundaries and stick to them
  • Create schedules in writing to avoid confusion
  • Keep your ex informed about the changes that occur in your life. This way you have time to plan ways to make big adjustments easier on your children.
  • Understand and work through the challenges of co-parenting together. It isn’t always going to be easy, but good communication is key.

 

When Conflicts Arise

As lives change, people are constantly evolving, developing different ideals and forming new opinions. Many relationships run into conflicts when one individual goes through changes and another is left unable to relate. This happening may have been part of your personal experience with divorce. During co-parenting, conflicts often arise because of the same reasons. When you can’t agree, here is how you can work on coming together to care for your children:

  • Focus on clearing your mind first. When you take care of your mental health during divorce and give clarity and rest to your mind, you allow yourself to perceive things more clearly and positively. Prioritizing your mental wellbeing will help you make strong decisions that you truly stand by, helping you provide better for your children.
  • Be flexible. When you make efforts to communicate properly with your ex and understand their point of view, you strengthen the co-parenting relationship. This builds respect and trust.
  • Focus on the kids. At the end of the day, providing for your child’s needs is the most important factor here. Work on reiterating the importance of coming to a compromise for their sake. Talk about how you can be consistent with your boundaries and work together as a team.

 

Assessing Your Situation

There are instances in which co-parenting will never be a viable and safe option for your children. It simply does not work for everyone. To make co-parenting work well there need to be basic agreements in place between you and your ex, a level of mutual respect and willingness to compromise. It is important to take time to asses your specific situation and determine what your best options are.

When certain concerns are raised during a child custody hearing, the judge will investigate to determine the best outcome for your situation. If you are unsure if co-parenting is right for you, some instances will be crucial to bring up. Here are some reasons why co-parenting does not work:

If a parent…

  • Suffers from substance abuse issues
  • Exhibits violent, abusive behaviour
  • Has a strong resentment and anger towards the other parent
  • Is unable to compromise or work with the other parent

Although co-parenting does not work for every situation, it might be ideal for you. Giving your children the ability to form relationships with both parents is a highly valuable part of their growth, health and happiness. Don’t get discouraged by how difficult it may seem to get used to at first. With time, co- parenting can become a great way to form new found relationships with your children and begin a new era of memories.

 


At Hussain Law we focus on helping our clients navigate the emotional and financial challenges of separation and divorce. Our office remains fully operational, and we have implemented various new procedures that allow us to continue to advise clients seamlessly during this time. If you have a family law issue that you need assistance with, please contact Ayesha Hussain at 647-428-3919.

Confidence Within Virtual Divorce Proceedings

Confidence Within Virtual Divorce Proceedings

We have all experienced how the global pandemic has forced most industries to change the way they operate. The changes might have affected your own workplace or the businesses that you rely on. Turning to technology becomes more typical each day, but for many it is still far from natural. Up until now, technology has been used as a fantastic communication tool, helping companies and professionals build social presence online and connect to their clients. Although many businesses have already incorporated tech into their routines, not all industries have adopted the same approach. Virtual divorce proceedings have given the justice system the ability to combat the struggles of the past year. 

After Ontario’s courts halted operations last year, the justice system was forced to adapt and take on virtual divorce proceedings. As a result, many concerns arose regarding whether the transition would still be effective for participants in court, arbitration and mediation sessions. Managing technical difficulties during proceedings takes up a lot of time and access to proper equipment varies depending on the individual. In this article we go over tips that will be helpful during your virtual appearance. Keep reading to learn about ways you can prepare and find confidence during your proceeding.

Setting Up

If you don’t have much tech experience you might be feeling stressed about the virtual process. There are a few steps you can take to make sure you are well prepped and ready for when the hearing date comes. It is important to test your set up a day before you appear to make sure you run into as few problems as possible. Details such as paying attention to having proper lighting can make a big difference. Try setting up your equipment in front of a window so that natural light can hit you from the front and never from behind. Using a headset is recommended to reduce background noise. Don’t forget to have all of your materials ready in designated folders that will be easy to find on the spot.

Here are some further things to remember:

  • Make sure your equipment is charged
  • Test your webcam beforehand
  • Close all unnecessary tabs on your computer
  • Check that your Wi-Fi connection is stable

Finding Confidence

Going through divorce can prove to be a time of great confusion and difficulty for many. Finding motivation, strength and confidence may not come as easily as it did at a simpler time. When you are going through a period of grief, remember to give yourself time to focus on your mental wellbeing and practice self care. This will allow you to return to a positive headspace as soon as possible and bring confidence to your virtual proceeding.

Here are some further tips:

  • Getting into the right mindset before hand will allow you to exude professionalism and confidence
  • Focus on the judge whenever you can to pick up on cues as body language is harder to read virtually
  • Speak strongly as it may be difficult to cut through virtual audio quality
  • Practice in front of the camera

Hiring A Specialist

If you are looking to advance the quality of your virtual proceeding you may want to consider virtual proceeding services. Specialists are available to help you achieve a high quality set up with as few audio and visual problems as possible. They will provide advanced equipment and arrange the most suitable set up leading you to be professionally prepared.

At Hussain Law

At Hussain Law we are conducting consultations and court attendance virtually. Prior to court attendance we prepare our client so they know what to expect and can attend with confidence.


At Hussain Law we focus on helping our clients navigate the emotional and financial challenges of separation and divorce. Our office remains fully operational, and we have implemented various new procedures that allow us to continue to advise clients seamlessly during this time. If you have a family law issue that you need assistance with, please contact Ayesha Hussain at 647-428-3919.

3 Tips on Telling Your Children You’re Getting A Divorce

3 Tips on Telling Your Children You’re Getting A Divorce

You are thinking that it may be time to tell your children about your plan to divorce, but the idea is greatly overwhelming. This may be the most difficult conversation you’ve had to have with them. How are you going to communicate the news in a way that is gentle? How are you going to protect them from the effect this news will have? When it is time to tell your children about divorce, there are ways you can do so that will be easier on your family. In this blog post we will go over 3 tips to help you handle this big step like a great parent would.

 

1. Plan Your Approach

Telling anyone about divorce is difficult. Your family and friends may be quick to form judgments about your decision. You may even fear that their opinions might reflect on your children. It is important to remember that divorce is a journey and as we grow and change, so do our relationships. Dealing with the end is an important part of human life. The sooner we normalize divorce the easier it will be to have conversations regarding the value of our decisions.

Before telling your children about your divorce think about how you’ll want to approach the conversation. Here are some pointers to steer you in the right direction:

  • Take time to reflect on your perspective, which might change depending on your situation
  • Help your children understand by explaining that divorce is common and that a part of life is accepting when things change and end
  • Create a space where an open conversation can be had, where everyone can share their feelings and their questions

 

2. Don’t Put Them In The Middle

When talking about good divorce parenting we often mention why it is harmful to put your children in the middle. It is important to avoid criticizing your ex in front of your child to protect them from extra stress and trust difficulties during an already turbulent time. If you are planning on telling your children about your divorce without your ex present, you may want to keep this importance in mind. Finding neutral ways to approach the topic is the best way to do so.

 

 

3. Prepare For Negative Reactions

Even though you may have already accepted the situation yourself, your children will need time and often space to do the same. If your child is under a lot of emotional stress they may act out in ways that you are not used to. It is important to allow them to process their emotions, and be there for them as they do. Remember that divorce is a scary thing for children to endure. They may not understand why its happening or how to process the changes that are about to happen.

Here are some things you can do to help:

  • Reassure your child that the divorce is not their fault
  • Take each day at a time and don’t blame them for their bad days
  • Encourage them to talk openly about their emotions
  • Make it clear that you are a support system for them

At Hussain Law we focus on helping our clients navigate the emotional and financial challenges of separation and divorce. Our office remains fully operational, and we have implemented various new procedures that allow us to continue to advise clients seamlessly during this time. If you have a family law issue that you need assistance with, please contact Ayesha Hussain at 647-428-3919.

 

Life After Divorce: 3 Tips For Positive Mental Health

Life After Divorce: 3 Tips For Positive Mental Health

Fostering positive mental health practices during and after divorce is an often forgotten and overlooked part of the process. The truth is, divorce will have a huge emotional impact on those going through it. Some experiences may be less turbulent than others, but it is important to focus on your mental wellbeing regardless. Mental health prioritization is becoming an increasingly more accepted and discussed topic. As we recognize the importance of promoting these topics, knowledge circulates, helping reduce harmful stigmas.

If you’re going through divorce the following tips will help you get started on your positive mental health journey. Consider this process no different than healing a physical wound. Prioritizing your mental wellness will help you remain stronger for yourself and those around you, even allowing you to practice better divorce parenting. This is your foundation for a positive and healthy future.

1. Accepting Change

During times of uncertainty it is normal for people to feel unmotivated, stressed, and struggle with finding happiness. Oftentimes divorce can lead to serious setbacks such as anxiety, depression, substance abuse, and disordered eating. Taking care to accept the need to cope early can set you up for planning healthy ways to do so.

Navigating acceptance during these times can be one of the most difficult steps, because the aspect of change unravels in more than just one way. Life after divorce becomes a matter of accepting a transforming reality altogether. Alongside adjustments to routines and family life, many individuals also experience changes to their mental state, future plans and the ideas that surround who they are as people. For most, these stages are usually highly uncomfortable and hard to accept. It is important to focus on changing your frame of mind when coping through these transformative times.

Here are some ways you can practice fostering a positive mental attitude and accepting change:

  • Surrender to uncertainty and allow yourself to grow from the hardships that life throws at you
  • Embrace independence by making decisions for yourself
  • Remember that you have the power to craft a future of mental wellbeing

2. Practicing Self Care

We often forget that having a good relationship with ourselves allows us to care for those around us more effectively. Incorporating self care into a new routine can do a lot for the betterment of your mental health. For these practices to be most effective, first allow yourself to remember and believe that you deserve to take time for yourself and to care for yourself. Incorporating mindfulness into self care routines can be the most effective way to form a great relationship with yourself.

Here are some things you can do to practice self care:

  • Get into the habit of repeating positive affirmations to yourself without judgment
  • Take up something that used to give you a lot of joy
  • Learn a new skill
  • Stay active by incorporating exercise into your day
  • Devote an extra hour before bed to perfecting a relaxing nightly routine

3. Seeking Therapy

You may be feeling like your situation is far too overwhelming to take on accepting change and self care on your own. Seeking therapy is a beneficial way to get yourself back up on your feet and tackling daily tasks. A common misconception with therapy is that you need to have hit your lowest to go. This is simply untrue and there is no requirement to seeking help. Therapists are qualified to handle varying situations and improving mental health means something different to everyone.

If you are unsure about seeking post divorce therapy, here are some common signs that you could benefit from professional help:

  • You’re feeling depressed
  • You have suffered abuse
  • Having hope for a positive future is a struggle
  • Thinking about coping with divorce is overwhelming

At Hussain Law we focus on helping our clients navigate the emotional and financial challenges of separation and divorce. Our office remains fully operational, and we have implemented various new procedures that allow us to continue to advise clients seamlessly during this time. If you have a family law issue that you need assistance with, please contact Ayesha Hussain at 647-428-3919.