Divorce is a painful process, as anyone who has gone through it can attest to. There is pain and grief involved with the end of a marriage. Even after the legal process has concluded, the divorce stays with you. Often, people wonder what could have been done differently to save their marriage, where things went wrong, etc. These issues can affect people all the way through their lives. It is very important for you to comprehend emotions during a divorce in addition to the reasons you may feel troubled during this time.

In order to understand what causes you to feel so troubled in the wake of divorce, let’s review why you feel like you do. It may not make the process easier, but it will at least provide some clarity.

Here are some reasons why you may feel distressed during a divorce:

  • The pain of letting someone go whom you spent so much time with and invested so much of yourself into can be especially intense.
  • Even so, after spending years together, there is no doubt a special bond still exists. Even if the marriage was dismantled due to anger, fighting, or other reasons, that bond remains.
  • Together, you shared a lot over the years. Separating will rarely be pleasant. The mere thought of it is sure to strike fear in the heart of anyone.
  • You will change your daily routine and lifestyle, which is perhaps the biggest reason. A lot of the changes will be new to you. You will find them challenging and stressful.

Emotions during a divorce: 6 Stages

It is important to remember that we are all unique. There is a possibility that these emotions will manifest themselves in order all your own. However, these are all perfectly normal emotions during a divorce. This process has been experienced by others before you and you won’t be the last.

1) Denial

It can be challenging to accept a divorce, especially if you are in the midst of it. In this situation, it’s easy to blame yourself for your inability to resolve the marriage problems on your own.

As a result, you may be overwhelmed and sent into a tailspin, drowning in thoughts and feelings that stop you from accepting the truth. It’s possible that you might even hope that something can be done to make things right again in the marriage.

2) Shock

Those going through a divorce tend to behave differently than they normally would. It is inevitable that getting a divorce will cause a severe storm of emotions in your mind, some of which will cause panic. The effect is more noticeable when one considers how many years have been spent on your marriage and family.

When you are hit by the shock of it all, you can become numb to it all. However, it can initially seem overwhelming. There are thousands of people who have come out with new lives from the process, and you can, too.

3) Contrasting Emotions

The hardest part of this process may well be this step. When you go through a major life event like divorce, you are bound to experience strong emotions. You can even go through a state of despair.

Trying to understand what has brought this event about may take up all your time. There may even be times when you are only thinking about what a failure your marriage and life have been. You may not be able to get through this emotional storm on your own. Reach out to someone who can support you.

4) Bargaining

No matter how bitter the divorce, at least one side will hope for reconciliation at some point. People are often willing to not only “make things work,” but also completely change themselves.

The most important thing to remember is that you cannot control other people’s feelings. Negotiations are the worst stage of a divorce in that they delay the inevitable and keep you from the harsh realities that are to come.

5) Letting Go

At this moment, the healing truly begins. You will come to a realization, no matter how hard it may be. It is that nothing you do or say will make your marriage work again.

Among the most important things, you will learn, is how you indirectly contributed to the breakdown of the marriage. In the best-case scenario, you might experience a sense of freedom. Additionally, you can become more optimistic about the future. Now you’re able to finally start moving forward with your life after divorce.

6) Acceptance

The road to emotional healing ends. As time goes on, you start to experience less and less negative emotions about the whole process. It may take years for you to reach this point. The process is unique to each person.

The most important thing is that you finally begin to feel like you can live a fulfilling, happy life. Growing through this phase usually takes a while. You will finally begin to grasp the idea that life can continue after divorce, and you will look forward to what awaits you.


At Hussain Law, we focus on helping our clients navigate the emotional and financial challenges of separation and divorce. Our office remains fully operational, and we have implemented various new procedures that allow us to continue to advise clients seamlessly during this time. If you have a family law issue that you need assistance with, please contact Ayesha Hussain at 647-428-3919.

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