Divorce is a confusing and complicated process that can last longer than expected at times. While one requirement for filing for divorce is to be separated for one year from your spouse, there are numerous other things you will need to do in order to prepare for divorce and make sure you are protected. You will have to make difficult decisions in a short span of time. As such, here are some things you need to know or do to make this process easier and a lot less stressful.
Collect Various Important Documents
It’s imperative to locate your personal documents. A complete collection can help you and your lawyer navigate procedures to you and your ex-partner’s assets. You’ll want to save information that relates to your finances, like your bank accounts, credit card statements, financial statements, and more. In addition to mortgage and loan statements.
Limit Opinions From Family
You should try to keep your divorce between you and your partner. The only other people who should have a say are your lawyers or mediator. It may feel like you need to head to your family for advice or reassurance, but their advice will probably be biased. It’s easy for this process to take a harmful route if your parents or siblings make negative comments about your ex.
Take Care of your Mental Health
It’s normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated and confused. You also may feel anxious about the future. Even if the marriage was unhealthy, venturing into the unknown is frightening. It’s easy to forget about your mental health throughout this process, primarily when you have kids. Give yourself permission to feel and to function at a less than optimal level for a period of time. You may not be able to be quite as productive on the job or care for others in exactly the way you’re accustom to for a little while. No one is superman or superwoman; take time to heal, regroup and re-energize. You deserve to lead a happy life, whether your actions caused the divorce or not. You have to take time to rest and recharge as you navigate these difficult moments.
Prepare for Life Changes
Hiring a lawyer or a mediator is important. Before you retain a lawyer make sure you do your homework. Out of desperation do not settle for the first lawyer you come across. Find an experienced lawyer, preferably one who focuses on family law and has experience in divorce and child custody issues. The advantages of choosing a mediator are that there can be less conflict in the process and you may save on legal fees. An effective way to choose your representation is to have a consultation. A divorce can help you build a better life. It’s essential to prepare for this new reality.
Divorces aren’t so easy to make.
There are lots of procedures to be followed with mutual understanding. You should be prepared well prior to why you need to get separated. Children are mostly affected by parents getting separated. Prepare your children and take care of yourself.
In extreme high conflict custody cases, a dynamic develops whereby one of the parents sets out to sever the children’s ties to the other parent. This is referred to as “parental alienation”. Five types of parental behaviour are hallmarks of parental alienation syndrome:
- Rejecting: The favoured parent rejects the child’s need for a relationship with both parents. The child fears abandonment and rejection by the favoured parent if he or she expresses positive feelings about the rejected parent;
- Terrorizing: The favoured parent bullies the child into being terrified of the rejected parent, and punishes the child if he or she expresses positive feelings about the rejected parent;
- Ignoring: The favoured parent withholds love and attention if the child expresses positive feelings about the rejected parent;
- Isolating: The favoured parent prevents the child from participating in normal social activities with the rejected parent and that parent’s friends and family;
- Corrupting: The favoured parent encourages the child to lie and be aggressive toward the rejected parent. In very serious cases, the favoured parent recruits the child to assist in tricks and manipulative behaviour intended to harm the rejected parent.
The Children’s Law Reform Act reinforces the idea that maximum contact with both parents is generally in the best interests of children, and that parents have an obligation not only to allow access, but to facilitate that access. If you fear that you are a victim of parental alienation contact me today at 647-428-3919 to learn your options.
The word “custody” essentially refers to the parent’s right to make decisions for the child, as well as the parent’s obligations to that child. Issues concerning child custody can be one of the most important challenges during a divorce. Whenever possible parents should try to reach an agreement regarding issues concerning custody and access. This is the least disruptive and least expensive route to ensure a smooth custodial transition for children.
However, if parents cannot come to an agreement, they can commence an Application in Court. There are different types of custody arrangements; sole custody, joint custody and split custody.
When deciding custody, residence, and access it’s not about the parent’s right but what is in the best interest of the child.
Many factors are considered, some of which include:
· who has been the main caregiver for the children;
· how you and your partner plan to care for the children in the future;
· who can offer the most stability for the children;
· how each of you will help the children maintain their relationships with the other parent.
There is still an assumption that only a Mother will get custody of the child. This is untrue; the Children’s Law Reform Act states that the father and the mother of a child are equally entitled to custody of the child.
If you are facing a divorce and have children, contact me by calling 647-428-3919 to learn more about how you can protect and maintain your parental rights.