by Janita Pannu | Dec 20, 2021 | Uncategorised
Experiencing a divorce can be one of the most stressful times in one’s life. Especially for children who are still developing mature coping mechanisms, divorce can present serious challenges; this is why supporting them through a divorce is so important. Many parents don’t realize the unhappy feelings of their children because they aren’t adept at expressing them.
In addition to the stress of divorce, kids often have other worries, such as school disruptions, and news. As a result, we have seen a troubling spike in mental health crises including depression, and anxiety. Fortunately, divorce can be a real blessing for kids if they have parents who are supportive.
These are 5 strategies that will help minimize the negative effects of divorce on children:
1) Peaceful co-parenting
Let your anger and intense arguments fester until you have time to be alone.
Despite how hard it might be, do not lash out at your children. Be cautious about displaying overt hostility by threatening or screaming. The emotion that you put out there for your kids is a sponge, and they will soak it up, taking it personally even if it is not intended for them.
The secret to effective co-parenting after divorce is to encourage your children to spend time with their other parents. These four tips will make transitioning between homes easier for your children.
- Tell your children a few days before the transition that they will be spending time with their other parents. In this way, they can anticipate and adapt to change.
- Try to establish a routine for daily life in each home. Ensure mealtimes, bedtimes, etc. Are the same in both houses as much as possible.
- Organize in advance so that your child can bring items that are important to them to the new residence.
2) Don’t put your children at risk
It may be difficult to restrain your emotions when a marriage dissolves. Unresolved relationship issues can be further complicated when upset, disappointed, or betrayed feelings are still fresh.
Children shouldn’t witness you arguing with the other parent. If you know your partner’s emotional triggers and insecurities, you can hit where it will hurt the most when you are both in the heat of the moment and hurling accusations you know to be false.
Seeing these quarrels increases your children’s perception that their crumbling family is turning into a disaster – causing them anxiety, fear, and depression.
Explaining the situation calmly, rationally, and without ascribe, any blame will only lead to frustration and resentment. If you feel resistance when you are speaking, stop and wait until another time.
It is best for your kids to work out your emotional issues with a therapist and your legal issues with a lawyer or mediator – and don’t fight in front of them!
3) A consistent approach
Children thrive on routines and to the extent, you can preserve continuity in their lives, that will make the divorce easier on them.
You must also stay consistent with discipline as well, and not allow your own guilt to let children take advantage of you. As hard as it may be, follow through with consequences and you’ll be doing your child a greater favor than if you let them slide.
In order to be consistent, parents must have self-discipline. As a result, discipline will probably be most difficult when you are consistent with your child. If you maintain consistency, you will promote your child’s growth and maturity as well as your own.
4) Practice coping skills
This may be a case where you would benefit from taking a course on parent education.
Irrespective of whether we are custodial or not, we want to impart values and morals to our children. In the absence of collaborative parenting, divorced parents fail to teach their children anything other than conflict and power struggles.
Educating children on age-appropriate coping skills can give them avenues to vent their feelings and behaviors in a healthy, constructive manner. Furthermore, kids are empowered and feel less helpless when they learn to deal with changes on their own.
5) Make sure that you are reassuring
In a divorce, children may experience abandonment issues. Make sure they feel safe and secure. Quality time with children is invaluable.
Reassure children on a regular basis that life will go on, that you love them, and that their presence is valuable to you. Be honest with yourself, but make sure your words are framed in a way to minimize the impact on others.
Ensure that you communicate positively with your child, showing interest in their schoolwork, friends, hobbies, and activities.
In order to minimize the long-term effects of divorce on your child, you should maintain a healthy relationship with your child and spend quality time with him or her.
To conclude
Divorce has most commonly been associated with negative effects on children, but recent research suggests that parents can reduce conflict between them and increase communication (between them and with their children).
At Hussain Law, we focus on helping our clients navigate the emotional and financial challenges of separation and divorce. Our office remains fully operational, and we have implemented various new procedures that allow us to continue to advise clients seamlessly during this time. If you have a family law issue that you need assistance with, please contact Ayesha Hussain at 647-428-3919.
by Janita Pannu | Oct 12, 2021 | Uncategorised
There are many challenges and difficulties during a divorce. When someone separates from a relationship or gets divorced, it can be hard to recover after divorce. There could be rejection, anger, hurt, or hopelessness. It is possible, however, to manage these difficult feelings.
Divorce brings with it many emotional, physical, and financial complications. Separated parents have a difficult time co-parenting. As well as offering them the love, understanding, and attention they need to deal with their own pain. The feeling of not knowing what to do can be frightening, overpowering, and seemingly endless.
It may take time for you to heal, and you might experience discomfort for a while. Losses come in multiple stages and sometimes require adjustment. Embrace the journey and stay active. Be mindful of how you feel and recognize which stage you are going through.
Here are 5 Ways to Recover After Divorce:
1) Keep in touch with those you care about.
Connect with people you enjoy and plan activities you can do together. Our need for compassion can cause feelings of loneliness, which in turn increases our chances of becoming involved in unhealthy relationships. Spend as much time as possible getting in touch with supportive friends and family members.
Having friends who listen intently and provide you with emotional support can make all the difference. Quality rather than quantity determines the nature of a helpful social circle.
2) Avoid dwelling on the past.
The past tends to impede the process of healing after a divorce Many blame their ex-partner for everything that went wrong.
Reminiscing about the past keeps you in the past. Observing your rearview mirror won’t help you drive forward, and focusing on the past won’t help you live a fulfilling life. What has already happened can’t be changed. It is best to utilize what has already happened to make the most of the future.
3) Embrace the lessons you learned from it
No matter how successful your marriage might be, you’re bound to have made mistakes and wish you had done things differently.
It’s a great time to learn from those experiences, too. Regret is a natural result of those thoughts.
Put yourself back in the position you were in before the relationship. How did you envision the future? Have you ever wanted to go somewhere or try something new?
Now you have an excellent opportunity to take a writing workshop, an art class, or take part in other hobbies that interest you.
4) Spend some time in nature
Many studies have shown that being immersed in nature has extreme health benefits.
It is possible to feel anxious, sad, or helpless when you are in an unpleasant environment. You experience an elevated heart rate, blood pressure, and muscle tension, as well as weakened immunity. Therefore, a positive environments help reverse those effects.
In both body and mind, nature has been proven to have incredible healing benefits. Among other things, green spaces enable people to relax, calm down, and lower their heart rates. Furthermore, the difference between walking on a busy city street and walking in a park can probably be felt by comparing your experience of walking on both.
Being in nature can be profoundly healing after a separation or divorce because it reconnects one with oneself and the greater universe naturally. The presence of nature can help ease the feelings of abandonment that can come with separation or divorce.
5) Make the most of what you have to offer
When you go through a divorce, your confidence is undermined.
However, you still possess incredible qualities that you can and should be extremely proud of. Build your self-confidence by discovering the things you really enjoy about yourself, and reminding yourself of those things every day.
Embrace your newfound singledom by finding ways to enjoy it. It can be helpful to spend some time by yourself to think, reflect, and reorganize your priorities.
Taking a second look at your options might make sense at this point. Moreover, think of it as an opportunity to start over from scratch and find out all the opportunities that await you.
Final Thoughts
Most importantly, you have to give yourself time to heal and recover after divorce. It takes time to lessen the sting, and with time, the flood of memories and regrets will happen less and less often.
At Hussain Law, we focus on helping our clients navigate the emotional and financial challenges of separation and divorce. Our office remains fully operational, and we have implemented various new procedures that allow us to continue to advise clients seamlessly during this time. If you have a family law issue that you need assistance with, please contact Ayesha Hussain at 647-428-3919.
by hussainlaw | Mar 3, 2019 | Ayesha Hussain
The issue of mobility rights involves the question of a parent’s right to be able to move from his or her current jurisdiction with the children to another jurisdiction. Most often times these cases arise when a parent who has the primary residence and custody of the child, wants to move to a different city. Many parents in this situation wonder, “if I have custody of my child, what happens if I move?”.
There are many reasons why parents consider leaving their current jurisdiction: a new job, a new partner, or the desire to move closer to where their family and support system are. Whatever the motivation may be, the Court will focus on the best interests of the children in considering whether or not to permit the relocation. The Court will consider various factors in making the determination of what is in the children’s “best interests”, including the relevant circumstances of the child, the existing residency and custody arrangement, the desirability of maximizing contact between the children and both parents, the views of the child (if they are of sufficient age), the custodial parent’s reason for moving, and the disruption the move may have on the children.
In most cases, under the Family Law Act, the parent wishing to relocate is required to give 60 days’ notice to anyone else who is a guardian or has contact with the child. The other guardian who may wish to oppose the relocation will have 30 days from delivery of that notice to file an objection to the move taking place.
Family Law Act
Generally, the test to consider for relocation is set out in the Family Law Act and includes considerations such as:
1) Whether the proposed relocation is made in good faith;
2) Whether the proposed relocation is likely to enhance the general quality of life of the child and, if applicable, the relocating guardian;
3) If the relocating guardian has proposed reasonable and workable arrangements to preserve the relationship between the child and the child’s other guardians or persons who are entitled to have contact with the child.
At the time of separation, most parents will usually continue to reside in the same city, often within the same community. When they negotiate the terms of their Separation Agreement, they most often address the issue of mobility, by setting out a requirement that either parent is to give the other parent a certain number of days’ notice (for example, 60 or 90 days’ notice), in the event of a proposed change to the children’s permanent residence. This notification requirement is included within the Agreement in order to enable the parents to try to negotiate a new parenting arrangement, in the face of the proposed move.
It also gives the non-primary residential parent sufficient time to bring a court application to attempt to prevent the move, if a new parenting arrangement cannot be agreed upon. I have seen some Separation Agreements where parents have agreed that there will be no movement without the consent of both parties. Such restrictive clauses, however, are unenforceable. The courts will not bind a parent to such a clause, in the event that it is determined, following the signing of the Separation Agreement, that it is no longer the children’s best interests to remain in their current location.
Given that the Court has wide discretion in determining what is in the children’s best interests, mobility cases are often unpredictable and there is no guarantee of success. The parent proposing the relocation should ensure that they have a plan to maintain as much contact as possible with the parent remaining in the current jurisdiction, this includes telephone, Facetime and Skype access, greater periods of time over the holidays and what access will look like if the access parent comes to the new jurisdiction. It is important to have a plan before the court that addresses the proposed access if the children are permitted to move that provides as much detail as possible for consideration such as who will be responsible for the transport of the children.
It is the difficult task of the court to weigh these factors along with a consideration of what is in the best interests of the child, in order to arrive at a decision that will result in the least disruption to the child and their relationship with each parent. Parental mobility rights, which specifically address a parent’s right to relocate or move with a child, can present numerous complexities best addressed by an experienced lawyer. If you are looking to relocate or are an access parent and want to dispute a proposed move by the custodial parent, contact me today at 647-428-3919.
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