by Janita Pannu | Nov 8, 2021 | Uncategorised
Separation and Divorce can be some of the most stressful and emotional things you can experience in life. No matter why you split – and whether or not you wanted it – a divorce can turn your whole world upside down and trigger all sorts of painful emotions.
Divorce puts you on a new path. It affects all areas of your life: your work and responsibilities, your home, your relationships with extended family and friends, and even your identity. The future is uncertain after a divorce. Can you cope without your spouse? What will you do after a divorce? Are you going to be alone? Sometimes the uncertainty of divorce seems worse than a strained relationship.
Separation and Divorce are difficult, but there are many ways you can find comfort.
Here are a few proven tips to help with divorce and the emotional strain of divorce.
1) Rediscover your passions/interests
- Make time each day to nurture yourself. Taking part in calming and soothing activities daily can help you heal. Get a massage, have a hot bath, listen to music, go for a walk in nature, take a yoga class, or enjoy a hot cup of tea.
- Take time out. Try not to make any major decisions in the first few months after a separation or divorce, such as starting a new job or moving to a new city. If you can wait until you’re feeling less emotional so that you can make decisions with a clearer head.
- Explore new interests. A divorce or breakup is a beginning as well as an end. Take the opportunity to explore new interests and activities. Pursuing fun, new activities gives you a chance to enjoy life in the here-and-now, rather than dwelling on the past.
2) Ask yourself questions
- How do I cope with separation and divorce?
- Be sure to rely on your friends. It’s never too late to build new friendships if you neglected your social circle while married and don’t feel like you have anyone to talk to.
- Your child should never hear your negative feelings. Make sure you never use your child as an outlet for your frustrations.
- Laugh a lot. Whenever you can, inject humor and play into your life and the lives of your children. This can relieve stress and help you to avoid sadness and anger.
- How can I help my child cope with the separation and divorce?
- You may also notice that your children’s relationships with extended family members, such as aunts and uncles, are also changing. Acknowledge and encourage this feeling.
- Make sure other influential adults in your child’s life (teachers, child care providers, coaches) are aware of what’s going on so that they can watch for warning signs of struggles.
- Spend quality time alone with your children when you can.
3) Take care of yourself physically
Exercise has many health benefits, including a positive effect on one’s mood when done regularly. Every day, practice meditation, stretch and engage in physical activity for at least 30 minutes. While doing household chores like vacuuming or walking the dog could count toward your exercise goal, it might seem like a lot to add to your already busy schedule.
Running around the yard or the local park with your children is another great way to get some exercise.
And lastly, make sure that you maintain your physical appearance. People often neglect bathing, dental care, hair care, make-up, and accessories during stressful times, although these may seem like common sense. Besides ensuring normalcy, looking good provides self-confidence and self-esteem in addition to maintaining normalcy.
4) Professional Help
An important part to survive divorce is getting help from a professional. Professionals who have been trained in divorce can be very helpful to you. By validating and encouraging your feelings and fears, she could help you become stronger, braver, and wiser.
Therapy can give you a rational perspective and a goal. People who go through a divorce can receive skills to cope with the difficulties. Therapy can often be beneficial for people who are trying to overcome a divorce. It can enable them to discover more about themselves. Changes due to divorce can provide a chance to grow as an individual.
5) Focus on the Big Picture
Don’t forget to stay focused on the big picture as you prepare for a divorce.
It’s important not to get caught up in fighting over semantics or trying to be right when it comes to making decisions during the divorce process.
While divorce is never easy, focusing on what’s most important, like the kids and the future, will give you a much better chance of not only getting divorced without infighting but also settling in a way that you are satisfied with.
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At Hussain Law, we focus on helping our clients navigate the emotional and financial challenges of separation and divorce. Our office remains fully operational, and we have implemented various new procedures that allow us to continue to advise clients seamlessly during this time. If you have a family law issue that you need assistance with, please contact Ayesha Hussain at 647-428-3919.
by hussainlaw | May 14, 2021 | Uncategorised
You are thinking that it may be time to tell your children about your plan to divorce, but the idea is greatly overwhelming. This may be the most difficult conversation you’ve had to have with them. How are you going to communicate the news in a way that is gentle? How are you going to protect them from the effect this news will have? When it is time to tell your children about divorce, there are ways you can do so that will be easier on your family. In this blog post we will go over 3 tips to help you handle this big step like a great parent would.
1. Plan Your Approach
Telling anyone about divorce is difficult. Your family and friends may be quick to form judgments about your decision. You may even fear that their opinions might reflect on your children. It is important to remember that divorce is a journey and as we grow and change, so do our relationships. Dealing with the end is an important part of human life. The sooner we normalize divorce the easier it will be to have conversations regarding the value of our decisions.
Before telling your children about your divorce think about how you’ll want to approach the conversation. Here are some pointers to steer you in the right direction:
- Take time to reflect on your perspective, which might change depending on your situation
- Help your children understand by explaining that divorce is common and that a part of life is accepting when things change and end
- Create a space where an open conversation can be had, where everyone can share their feelings and their questions
2. Don’t Put Them In The Middle
When talking about good divorce parenting we often mention why it is harmful to put your children in the middle. It is important to avoid criticizing your ex in front of your child to protect them from extra stress and trust difficulties during an already turbulent time. If you are planning on telling your children about your divorce without your ex present, you may want to keep this importance in mind. Finding neutral ways to approach the topic is the best way to do so.
3. Prepare For Negative Reactions
Even though you may have already accepted the situation yourself, your children will need time and often space to do the same. If your child is under a lot of emotional stress they may act out in ways that you are not used to. It is important to allow them to process their emotions, and be there for them as they do. Remember that divorce is a scary thing for children to endure. They may not understand why its happening or how to process the changes that are about to happen.
Here are some things you can do to help:
- Reassure your child that the divorce is not their fault
- Take each day at a time and don’t blame them for their bad days
- Encourage them to talk openly about their emotions
- Make it clear that you are a support system for them
At Hussain Law we focus on helping our clients navigate the emotional and financial challenges of separation and divorce. Our office remains fully operational, and we have implemented various new procedures that allow us to continue to advise clients seamlessly during this time. If you have a family law issue that you need assistance with, please contact Ayesha Hussain at 647-428-3919.
by hussainlaw | Mar 22, 2020 | Uncategorised
COVID-19 has taken over the world by surprise and the one thing we will all remember, besides washing our hands, is self-isolation. As a parent, your child’s safety has become even more paramount.
Self-isolation is staying home to protect those around you – your family, friends, colleagues – from possibly getting COVID-19. Self-isolation is an effective measure of prevention.
As schools close and workplaces go remote to prevent the spread of the new coronavirus, parents everywhere are struggling to keep children healthy and occupied. All this self-isolation and school closures can create anxiety in children. It is important to both acknowledge their concerns and be open to discussing them. Helping children to make sense of the consequences of COVID-19 and helping them to organize their thoughts and feelings is the best approach. As a first step, ask your child what they know about COVID-19 or what they have heard about it. If they don’t seem too concerned, you do not need to have an in-depth conversation about it.
You can simply reinforce the importance of handwashing and letting them know if they are feeling unwell. However, if your child’s worried or concerned about COVID-19, you can correct any misinformation and provide them with emotional support. It can be helpful to maintain some of the same routines even if children are home from school. This helps children know what to expect. Having a discussion with your children about routines and expectations for the time they are home can be helpful.
Engaging in activities like reading, schoolwork, doing crafts, board games, cooking or baking with a caregiver or doing art can help the time pass. It is also important to continue getting physical activity, which can include playing outside, having an indoor dance party, an obstacle course or doing stretches/yoga.
Finally, it is important to avoid large increases in screen time because this can interfere with children’s well-being and sleep. Although self-isolating can be stressful for parents, reassuring kids (and ourselves) that this time will pass can be helpful for keeping everyone healthy and happy.
Stay well!
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